tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7453225203248742297.post3053532390872152314..comments2022-11-05T04:41:33.024-07:00Comments on The Voyagers: Maiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17149615417507090988noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7453225203248742297.post-63037247280089123462013-03-30T11:43:25.795-07:002013-03-30T11:43:25.795-07:00I am from far away... But I can feel you so much ...I am from far away... But I can feel you so much strong. I am crying all the time while reading your blog. You are BEAUTIFUL! And yor daughter too! I think I can see your inner side beauty. Best wishes for you all! Anna from PolandAspazjahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16320469191060696219noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7453225203248742297.post-12687861959597601272012-04-20T22:23:36.915-07:002012-04-20T22:23:36.915-07:00Thanks for that, Maia. As usual, you're so elo...Thanks for that, Maia. As usual, you're so eloquent. It breaks my heart on a daily basis that she has to deal with such harsh realities at such a young age. At the same time...maybe they have a leg up on the rest of us. Less time to suffer delusions. Because obviously, none of us are safe. Most of us only realize that through years of experience, and we have to suffer through the gradual process of disillusionment and denial. At least our children don't have to go through that process of painful disillusionment. They already understand the harsh realities, and from here on out the good experiences are the surprises in their lives. It may not be the "natural" way of learning, or maybe it is. Humans are more sheltered than most other life forms in nature. Maybe our little ones grow up more like wild animals, inducted from birth into the harsh realities of nature, but maybe that isn't the worst thing that can happen to them. I don't know.Maiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17149615417507090988noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7453225203248742297.post-50667498447699905732012-04-20T22:05:53.167-07:002012-04-20T22:05:53.167-07:00Some of the things you wrote really reminded me of...Some of the things you wrote really reminded me of FF. Not the photographic memory- but her dreams are also quite vivid and often involve some sort of dramatic rescue situation and escape from violence. FF doesn't have any memories of China anymore, but she does understand her adoption and the existence of her First Family quite clearly and has never tried to clean up that part of her story. It actually breaks my heart a little - it seems like too much for someone so young to carry. Once we were talking about our family, and how family is forever - and she looked at me and said, "That's not true, Mom. Family is not forever. My China Mama was not forever." And this was a conclusion she drew for herself- as we are always careful to speak of her First Family with affection, respect and care. FF still has pretty severe separation anxiety, and sometimes I think about how that must feel - not having this comfort that most kids take for granted - that their parents will be there for them - period. I imagine what it would feel like to constantly be worried about losing the most important people in my world - and I ache for my girl. Sometimes it feels like I can't hold her close enough.Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11174671099436752890noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7453225203248742297.post-36802656900721935962012-04-19T08:28:56.018-07:002012-04-19T08:28:56.018-07:00Thank you for sharing this. It warms all our heart...Thank you for sharing this. It warms all our hearts. She is a special child. Very special. And so full of love. <br />Funny this came just as my little one told me about a "short" dream (his words) he had during his nap time. A spark came to me, he said, and I hugged it (he hugs and kisses everything and wants to do so with everything) and then it just went away...<br />Thank you again for sharing. I always treasure reading your rendering of beautiful Q.Kenzahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03735498316576611409noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7453225203248742297.post-59923452123908420992012-04-19T01:25:53.945-07:002012-04-19T01:25:53.945-07:00What an interesting post, Maia! A lot of what you ...What an interesting post, Maia! A lot of what you say applies very much to Hâuie — certainly her memory seems exceptionally good, and she often recounts dreams in the way Q does. Her memory is photographic in the sense that in the first years of practising spelling, I used to tell her to look inside her head, and she would sort of look at an interior screen and get the words right. This sort of memory works far better with English, where words don't change, whereas in French the "accords" mean that a visual memory isn't enough.<br />As for processing her adoption "story", she is in a slightly different situation as she was adopted at 7 weeks old from a foster mother (though we don't know what proportion of those weeks was spent in the hospital where she was born). But she has always been absolutely clear about the facts and has never needed to change them, or discuss their meaning. I am far more fascinated by her history than she is, even after our 6 months in Vietnam. When we were first in Hanoi, she did say that it was strange to think that she might meet her birthmother in the street, but neither would be aware of it. I mentioned a while ago that I so wish I could have met her birthmother, wondering what she might look like (I keep being told that Hâuie is partly mixed race, and people often don't realise she is adopted). Hâuie's reaction? "yeah, we won't know. She might be ugly, anyway." She genuinely seems "sorted" about her origins. Of course, when the girls hit adolescence, it may change...I do think that the fact that both you and I are not of a straight-forward Northern European racial background helps. We both have several cultures in us, and don't look that different from our girls, at least in colouring.<br />And lastly, rather like Q, Hâuie is clearly academic, but doesn't feel the need to show it all the time. Apart from her passion for reading, she is an incredibly cool, laid-back, witty and affectionate girl who is fantastic company. She far prefers playing with the boys than gossiping with the girls. As I told you before, I think we adopted a cat, not a girl! And how lucky we've all been...<br />Carole xxxCarolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15653616583133892055noreply@blogger.com